When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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What hurts more than a bullet? A bullet penetrating your skin, muscle and embedding itself in your body

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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