what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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