how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg. Chickens evolved from their pre-historic ancestors who each laid an egg with a slight genetic mutation until one egg contained what is now classified as the modern chicken.

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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You were born.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

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Whats long,hard, and has c.u.m in ig? Cucumber....also my wiener

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops