Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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What was black, then white, now dead all over? Michael Jackson.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Chuck Norris' balls were so big that he went to the doctor to get them checked on and it was discovered that he had testicular cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops