Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What happens when you poke a ghost that is on the edge of a building?? Ghost aren't real, so therefor you will fall of the building and die????

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Those who can't teach... Aren't teachers.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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what's worse than the holocaust? when starbucks puts whip cream in my hot chocolate and I didn't ask for it. created by KA

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops