I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get slaughtered.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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