Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

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What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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