Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Penis

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Girlfriend: Hey, you know whats the cutest thing ever? COMIC SANS Stabs girlfriend in the eyes.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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What's faster than the speed of light? Not a car

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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a white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy all jump off a building. they all immediately die on impact, later on the news white guy jumps off building.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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