What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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