Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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How do you cheer up a sad caterpillar? KILL IT WITH FIRE

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who is awesome? no one...

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't. Before it could cross, it was killed and then consumed by an average American

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Why was the white man's girlfriend a whore? Because she engaged in sexual relations with a multitude of other men.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops