ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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What do you call a black man and a black woman having sex? A husband and wife who love each other very much and are trying to have a baby.

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Whats green? The color green.

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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