even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

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roses are red violets are indigo

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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