roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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What a wonderfuuuul wooorld: Would this not be a wonderful world if we instead of killing innocent children, just gRaped them hard and painfully in every damn hole and let them go home? Ad: Consider the life of the poor children, Just 0rape them hard!... For love! Awww... Moral: What moral You see any moral here? XD No Not Nerometal, I am that "leader of the Neronist... whatever" Yes, that is who I am. Real moral: "Seriously who is gonna listen to some kid who is just (severely) butthurt anyway huh? Cut their tongues off! Just do not kill them... For a wonderful world..." <3 (Not a heart lol)

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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3 out of 5 smokers die And apparently the other 2 become immortal

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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