Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Two men walk into a bar. Realizing that they aren't alcoholics and don't drink, they walk back out.

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs? An amputee

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boobs!

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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what did "A" and "B" look for when they went to the beach? what are you talking about? letters cannot travel!

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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