How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

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what is orange? an orange

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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Microwave

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How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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