Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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person 1:hello person 2:hello person 1:do you want to hear a joke ? person 2:yes person 1:good bye person 2:good bye

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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I have CDO it's like OCD but in the right order

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops