people on this site vote for anti-jokes that make them laughed

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

How long does it take you to count to 5? 5 seconds.

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being unaware of his surroundings, the chicken was startled by an oncoming motor vehicle. Due to the animals vapid logic an reasoning, based on impulse it quickly ran to the other side of the street to avoid its imminent death by the speeding automobile. Unknowingly, the chicken had reached the other side of the road,

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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