What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Bacon is delcious.

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The sentence below is an anti-joke.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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