a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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THis guy went into the bathroom with a girl in the middle of party and they started having sex but then the guy has to pee so he does... and then he leaves the bathroom and goes back to the party

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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One terrible stormy night, the citizens of Ristoville were hiding from the monsterous lightning cloud approaching them. Little Jonny Harrison, however, was not afraid. This boy had been bullied from the ripe young age of about 14 months by his closest friend, Uncle Oliver, who happens to be a Catholic Priest. Jonny wanted to face the storm, with 6 years behind him, he thought it bizzare that anything worse than Uncle Oliver's magical basement could be brought unto him. He grabbed his supply of Cheese and Onion Quavers, a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Flavoured Ribena, his pretend mobile, a 10ft long metal conductor and his pet grape, "Christopher", and set out for the journey of his life. He told his terminally ill mother that he is going for the adventure of a lifetime, his dad that he wishes him well, and finally, his Grandmother, Rosie Harrison, who has had a severe addiction to meth for almost 25 years now, who has had over 13 interventions and countless attempts at suicide, that he loves her with all of his strong, brave heart, and to hang in there. Little Jonny Harrison takes his first step outside, facing the eye of storm with a little bit of pee in his pants, squeezes his Ribena, slightly squirting it and throwing it heroicly to the drooping wet grass, and screams to the cloud, at the top of his lungs, the words, "I am unstoppable!". Jonny died of HIV induced AIDS and his Uncle was given three to five years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation and consistent domestic abuse and paedophillia. His Grandmother, Rosie, also died later that day.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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A man goes to his doctor and asks: ""What is wrong with me doc? One moment I think I am a teepee, the next moment I a, a wigwam." To which the doctor responds: "I have told you several times sir; you have stage IV pancreatic cancer."

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What has an orange t shirt A dick I lied about the shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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