How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Once a upon of time, cow said chicken go cluck. Years later, mustard was like a ketchup. I said it was good. Oh yea baby. It was a good day.

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Gus's mom

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops