Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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How many seeds does a watermelon have? None. It is seedless.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops