What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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What do you call a group of black men stampeding down a hill? Dangerous, so they should slow down!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Why couldnt the pirate get into the movies? Because it was rated pg-13 and his parents didnr likw him watching that

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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Q: Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench. A: A bench is an object and a mexican is a human being.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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