Your momma's so old she might die soon.

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Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

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John: I just ran over a cat... Just kidding! It was your mum.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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how do you get a blonde one-handed woman out a tree? wave

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops