Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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whos district champs not JM

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Nickelback

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Why did the man starve to death? He had no food.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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why did the girl fall down someone threw four monkeys and a refrigerator at her

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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