A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

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Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Why couldn't the blonde get pregnant? Because she was dead, and her reproductive organs had stopped functioning.

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*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops