what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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why did the physics major drop out of college? because he stumbled onto a finding that made him contemplate life so much that he needed to go to africa to study where the source of the finding where he later caught AIDS from an infected village person, he was later flown back to the US where he was cured out of a miracle but later hanged himself because he was not allowed to go back to africa and find out the meaning of life.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Penis.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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Como estan lo que sienta in el tarea de tomo caliente? A. Los sientos! ~ this is why nobody likes Spanish

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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