Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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what did the african man have for breakfast? Ebola cereal.

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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People with Alzheimers will not remember this joke

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding the holocaust? A worm

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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