Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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My dad

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Johnny Depp is Alexander Graham the whole time.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Fathers Day at Tyrone's house.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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