How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm What is worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding chuck norris Whats worse than finding your girlfriend has a bigger Slong than you? Getting raped with a cheese grater. Whats worse than all of these? Being black Sadly im black :( -Jordan M

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops