What do you give hobos? Febreeze

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed.

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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Roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry show me your tits!!

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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where did you get those clothes? at the toilet store.

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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whos the most unprodutive person ever not hitler her helped over populatin and got rid of the jew they multiply like jews anyways

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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