A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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Hail Hitler

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Why couldn't timmy brush his hair? He had leukaemia

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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No soap radio

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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the waterhorse is a beautiful creature. It often frolics through fields of wheat.

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops