Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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The Joke Below

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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VAL SUCKS

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

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What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

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What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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