Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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YES! EXACTLY!

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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snowglobe

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I man was taking a major shiit He forgot to wipe

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? If I can't have you, I'm going to shoot you through the nails with a nail gun.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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