How do you make a little girl cry?

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John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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why was six afraid of seven It wasnt. numbers are not sentient or tangible and thus are incapable of feeling fear

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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A man looks at a glass and says that it is half full. Another man looks at the glass and says that it is half empty. A feminist looked at the glass and said it was being raped

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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what did the man do when he was at the end of his rope? he bought more rope.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

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Why did the fungus leave the party? Truffle.

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Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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