Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I have suicidal thoughts

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops