Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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a man walked into a bar....

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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What do you call a man with cheese on his face? His name is David.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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what did the guy say when his partner took a poop on his chest? It was unnecessary for you to deficate onto my chest. In no way at all was that sexually stimulating, and i shall consider seeking out a new partner.

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whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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I named my son ps2 controller

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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