Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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What happens when you cross a Labrador and a Poodle. A species of dog that has been cross bred.

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Q.How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A.You don't. You kill her.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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poop.

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Q: Why don't black people like My Chemical Romance? A: Actually, some of them do.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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