Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What's red bubbly and spins around? A baby in a microwave

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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what is this joke about? - i don't know i am still writing the j

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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An American, Mexican, and Chinese men are each asked to throw something off a cliff that they have too much of. The Chinese threw off rice. The Mexican threw off tacos. And the Americans.. Well.. They threw off the Mexicans.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Connor is homo

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What's the same between grapes and squirrels? They're both purple, except for the squirrel.

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What's the difference between a black girl and a white girl? Nipple color

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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