What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Women's rights

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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