What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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What did the white man say to the group of black men when there was a golf ball coming at them? Stay there! You are in no immediate danger!

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hi jonny

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

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haha

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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I had a submarine.... once

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Q. Why did the kid drop his tennis racket? A. Because he got run over by a tank!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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