Obama being reelected.

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titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

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"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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How do you make an elf sad? Murder his family.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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A guy says a joke. It was not funny

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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