What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Penis chickens

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Religionh

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What is red and has wheels? Grass, I lied about it being red and having wheels.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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can you touch your toes? no

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You know what the Germans have to say about problems? For every problem there is a final solution.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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