Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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a blond readhead and a brunnett were driving to Miami, they saw a sign for next exit Miami, turned off the exit went to the beach did some shopping and all had a great time together.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Why couldn't the child go to the park? He was a registered sex offender.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why was the kindergartener crying in the corner? His family was poor and his father abused him.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops