whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What the hell are you doing?

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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