- Anti Joke

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

Q:A man walked into a bar. He looked at everyone and suddenly started crying. Why? A: Because everyone was drunk, and therefore came to the point where no one could remember him or anyone else.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLFUNNY EXAMSMORE FAIL AT 11RATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDWIFI LOLYO DAWG PICS CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Tumblr_kw8cw9dmft1qzvk4co1_500 JAPAN IS WEIRD Trucks YO DAWG PICS Ice-cream-cone-7bada2 PORN SFW Scan0011 FUNNY EXAMS Bulk-upload-801c63 CREEPY COVER Passedoutphotos-com-c898a0 PASSED OUT PHOTOS Quotes From Other Sites “If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know....” via: Anti-Pickup Line “[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!".” via: Clarksonisms “The Government..” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “According to my monitoring, billions of people in the world receive the personal loans at various creditors. So, there is a good chance to get....” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

I need to start studying.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops