Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

This sentence is a lie.

why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

What did the daddy hamster say to the baby hamster? Nothing. Male hamsters eat their young.

knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

My grandpa died in the Holocaust He fell from the guard tower

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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