What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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What's the difference between a jew, a muslim and a christian. They follow different belief systems

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Why can't the black person drown? He is very well trained at swimming.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

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Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops