a jew walked into a bar-mitzvah

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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What did the therapist say to the other therapist? Your skin looks dry, let me lend you some ointment.

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Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

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A man was feeling sick and decided to go and see a doctor. He saw the doctor and then went home. He wasn't feeling any better so he decided to get checked-out by the doctor.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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i'm hard

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops