What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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What did God say to the priest while he was masturbating.... ... God doesn't exist.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Is your refridgerator running? because if its not, you should probably have it looked at by a repair man,

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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8

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the clown fall of the swing? he got shot in the head

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and his problem is destroying his family.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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