What did King Tut say when he got scared? How would I know? It was over a thousand years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

thumb_up thumb_down -8

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the Black guy work at KFC? To provide money for his struggling family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does a man with no arms ride a bicycle? He can't, he loses control and falls over, getting a few scrapes and bruises.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

NASCAR

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Crime doesn't pay. Sure it does

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops