What did one salt shaker say to the other salt shaker? Nothing, Salt shakers are merely used to add flavor to foods.

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what does a granny look best in? 1950

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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why did the pirate have a patch? to crack the software he had downloaded

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

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So this fat guy farts. It smells.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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Whats the difference between Sarah Palin and Jason Voorhees? Jason has a chainsaw.

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What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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