What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

willam dafoe

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

WILLYS

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +22

who's a slut... you're mom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than 9/11? a dipped glass of milk

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Miscarriages.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops