Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

why is 6 afraid of 7? i don't know, ask 6

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

I'd like to make a withdraw

A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

What did the two prostitute say to each other? I dont know, i wasn't there

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

vitamin c

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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