knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man named Chuck walks into a bar. One of the patrons says, "Oh my god! You're Walker, Texas Ranger!" Chuck replies, "No, that's Chuck Norris. I'm Chuck Connors. I played the Rifleman." The man replies, "Wait, aren't you dead?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

It got hit by a rocket.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops