A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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whats the difference between and black guy and a bench? a bench can supoort a family

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Justin Bieber

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If you have 24 hours to live what would u choose to do? I would choose to take stander ised testing b/c it feels like it's forever.

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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What's black and white and red all over? An equality parade with a nearby homicide

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How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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Why did the boy cry when he got a new puppy? Because he had anal seepage coming out his ass

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Do the roar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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