a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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Q: What kind of time is it when you fall from a ladder and are moments from landing straight on a operational circle saw? Moral: ITS TIME TO SPLIT!

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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what do jason kidd and michael jackson have in common? they are both actually black

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My cat just died.

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Q. What's white and lives in a tree? A. A fridge.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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